WEBSITES
Dr. Michele Borba - Empathy
Kid's Health
Technology- Common Sense Media
Cyber Safety
ARTICLES
Tips for Dealing with an Angry Child from Love & Logic
Quick Parenting Tips from Love & Logic
Looking Out for Your Child's Friendships by Michele Borba
Sharing Control Through Choices from Love & Logic
Using Enforceable Statements from Love & Logic
Teaching Your Child Resilience from Kidspot
Ditching the Word "Don't" by Amy McCready
Encouragement vs. Praise from Love & Logic
6 Things Students Need to Build Resilience by Barbara Gruener
When Children Lie: How to Respond and Build Honesty by Hey Sigmund
Don't Set Too Many Limits from Love & Logic
What To Expect When Your Child Needs Therapy by Melissa Martin
Growing Resilient Learners by Araluen Primary School (Growth Mindset Explained)
Meltdown Cheat Sheet by Mindful Life
Encouraging Kids in Kindness
HOW TO DO IT
- Avoid using external rewards to reinforce altruistic behavior. For instance, you may want to think twice before telling kids that they’ll get a special treat if they share their toys, or promising them extra TV time if they help clean up after dinner. As tempting as it may be to reward kids when they do something kind, that approach can backfire: They may learn that kindness is only worth performing when they’ll be given some kind of prize as a result. Instead, kids should get to experience the feeling that kindness is its own reward—a view backed up by neuroscience studies showing that pleasure centers of the brain light up when people behave altruistically.
- Praise character, not behavior. Research suggests that children are more likely to make kindness a habit if they are praised for being kind people rather than just for doing something kind. For example, saying, “You’re such a helpful person” may be more effective than saying, “That was such a helpful thing to do.” Praising their character encourages children to see kindness as an essential part of who they are and seems to be especially effective around age eight, when children are forming their moral identities.
- But criticize behavior, not character. In other words, it’s OK to induce guilt but not shame. Children who feel guilt (“I did a bad thing”) after wrongdoing are more likely to feel remorse and make amends than those who feel shame (“I am a bad person”). Criticizing a behavior conveys that it’s possible for the child to change his or her behavior and make better choices in the future. Such criticism may be especially effective when it also includes positive affirmation (e.g., “You’re a good person, and I know you can do better.”)
- Model altruistic behavior. Ultimately, actions speak louder than words when it comes to cultivating altruism. Research shows that when children witness adults behaving altruistically, they are more likely to behave altruistically themselves, regardless of what the adults say to them about the importance of altruism.